Wednesday, May 30, 2012


(Quote of the Week)
"I don't think my father, the inventor of toaster strudel, will be too pleased to hear about this."

I use it frequently..

Monday, May 14, 2012

people of Walmart, creep edition.

Hello all, and happy belated Mother's day. Procrastination is one of my stronger talents, so for my mom I decided to run to Walmart the night before the big day. I grabbed her a nice bouquet of flowers, but it didn't feel like that was enough for my amazing mother. I decided to take a trip to the kitchen aisle to see what other trinkets I could find. Not many people need kitchen accessories at midnight on a Saturday, so I was surprised to be approached by a semi-dirty, unshaven man in a Hooter's t-shirt and army hat. He asked me about my mom, and the flowers I was carrying for her. He seemed friendly enough, so I figured he needed some help picking out a gift. He then proceeded to tell me how "fine" I am, and asked if I had ever considered modeling. I was really taken off-guard, and didn't know what to do. I wanted to be polite, so I listened as he gave me a "proposition"... To make this long conversation short, he basically asked me to be a naked model in a porno with his two "tall, thick and muscular" black boyfriends. He explained how amazing these black men are, how much I would love them, and how I was the perfect girl that they needed; as I stood there with what I can imagine was the most hopeless, frightened look on my face. I told him, "I have a boyfriend, I'm sorry, I can't help you..." and tried to get away from him. He blocked all exits from the secluded aisle, and kept shoving his phone in my face. "Please, can I just have your number while you think about it? We NEED you. You are just so pretty. This will change your life, I promise you will love it. It doesn't matter that you have a boyfriend." I was frantically trying to get away, but he was persistent. Finally, he asked my age. I told him, and he immediately booked it for the exit of the store. I stood, flowers in hand, jaw dropped, blood racing, and watched him leave Walmart. My parents were gone for the weekend, so I had to drive home alone, to a house with 4 sleeping children. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much that night.

There are many morals to this story, so here's my list:
1. Don't procrastinate
2. Don't talk to strange men in Hooter's shirts when you're alone... they aren't asking you what they should buy for their wife
3. Don't go to Walmart after midnight
4. Don't try to be polite to creepers. Just tell them to "Get the **** away from me."
5. And last but not least, watch this video.

Words of wisdom from: Holly :)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Marky Mark

 Mark Wahlberg was born in the Dorchester neighborhood of Boston Massachusets, the youngest of nine children.
His parents Divorced in 1982
Wahlberg claims to have been in trouble 20–25 times with the Boston Police Department as a youth. By the age of 13, Wahlberg had developed an addiction to cocaine and other substances. At 15, he harassed a group of black school children on a field trip by throwing rocks and shouting racial epithets. When he was 16, Wahlberg approached a middle-aged Vietnamese man on the street and, using a large wooden stick, knocked him unconscious. He also attacked another Vietnamese man, leaving him permanently blind in one eye, and attacked a security guard (using racist language).
For these crimes, Wahlberg was charged with attempted murder, pled guilty to assault, and was sentenced to two years in jail at Boston's Deer Island House of Correction, of which he served 45 days. In another incident, the 21-year-old Wahlberg fractured the jaw of a neighbor in an unprovoked attack. Commenting in 2006 on his past crimes, Wahlberg has stated: "I did a lot of things that I regret, and I have certainly paid for my mistakes."
After landing in prison he decided to change his ways. According to Wahlberg, "As soon as I began that life of crime, there was always a voice in my head telling me I was going to end up in jail. Three of my brothers had done time. My sister went to prison so many times I lost count. Finally I was there, locked up with the kind of guys I'd always wanted to be like. Now I'd earned my stripes and I was just like them, and I realized it wasn't what I wanted at all. I'd ended up in the worst place I could possibly imagine and I never wanted to go back. First of all, I had to learn to stay on the straight and narrow."
"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I've done bad things, but I never blamed my upbringing for that. I never behaved like a victim so that I would have a convenient reason for victimizing others. Everything I did wrong was my own fault. I was taught the difference between right and wrong at an early age. I take full responsibility."
Wahlberg first came to fame as the younger brother of Donnie Whalberg of the successful 1980s and 1990s boy band New Kids On The Block Mark, at age thirteen, had been one of the group's original members.
However, he soon quit. 
Wahlberg began recording as Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
Wahlberg dropped the "Marky Mark" moniker and began an acting career, making his debut in the 1993 TV movie The Substitute
Sounds like there is hope for everyone :)
He might be getting old, but let's be honest, he's still a babe.
Good Vibrations: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
Seriously good stuff.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Please read.
Your life will be greatly...enriched.. if that's the word to use..

p.s. I don't like this new layout.
It took me like 10 days to figure out how to post something.

p.p.s. Since we are talking about men, I thought i should tell you that I now have a boyfriend. His name is Tom Hardy (below) We are in love, haven't you heard.. how we rock each others world? Cuz he's just a boy and I'm just a girl?.. I think I may just love him. 
Uhmm, yeah..
Love Laur

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


what?! who's that in the middle? TAYLOR DAVIS.
for you lauren............................................
my elementary class

your welcome, amy 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Crazy People Can Still Sing Sometimes

repeat, repeat, repeat.
On ALL of these.

And absolutely am in LOVE with this song.
Most definitely the cutest thing errr.

And, if you have a fetish with dubstep lately, 
this feeds it.
Also, Brad Paisley takes the winning for best country music on the planet earth.
For all those who claim to not like country music, give it a chance.
And if you didn't listen to these songs, we probably can't be friends..

the married woman is still alive

ohhhh heyyy:)

so i'm married now.

and i freaking love it:)

i had imagined this day my entire life (obviously, i'm a girl) and i can't believe it's already come and gone!

jesse hanks fowlke. that my HUSBAND's name. and now we're like twins or married or something because that's my last name too. it's fowl, like fowl of the air, with a 'k'. fowlke. so this is us. MEET THE FOWLKERS!!

i'm ally and i hate school, but surprising like to clean our little basement apartment. i also like food so if you like food and you want some, feel free to come over and i'll whip you up some pasta, cereal, or maybe enchiladas.
that's jesse. he's smart, handsome, has a nice bod, and knows the gospel well. i got lucky. he may be smart but i fooled that looker. i tricked him into marrying a gal like myself! if anyone knows anyone who needs any help with that kind of trickery, call me.


so we've been married a month minus two days and it has been so much fun! i've also almost killed myself.

i've sucked up a lot of good stuff in the vacuum. i've broken a glass or two. there have been fires. (yes, plural. amy, the one you witnessed was NOTHING compared to the THREE FOOT flame i had on my pan last week. i kid you not. it was at least three feet high. i screamed).
i have nearly destroyed a lot of items in this house. actually i feel like i've nearly destroyed this house. our poor landlords...

anyways, being married is bueno. lots more people should get married. i'd recommend it. ESPECIALLY in the temple. thats the most important part. now jesse and i can be best friends forever! :) haha

love you my girls:)

love ally FOWLKE:)

and now beware of picture overload....

kelsey's face

 in the next few, at least one person fails every time haha

such a struggle.

cousin love

nailed it


haha jesse and i painfully watching my sweet but crazy grandma give her speech (which was only supposed to be 30 seconds of marital advice)

our gorgeous cake!

he would most definitely flip off the camera

hmm kaden and shoney anyone? hahah

we stood like this for forever because no one would give us a napkin or anything...awkward

Thursday, April 5, 2012


Let me just welcome you into story time.
So, as you know, my windshield has been cracked for some time now. My registration is due to be renewed and so I needed to replace it. My cousin said that he found a company that does it at your house! I was stoked, because what's better than being lazy and having people come to you? So they show up today, and I was freakin sketched from the beginning. I couldn't even communicate with them. So naturally, I creeped on them from the window while they were replacing it. When I was watching them, I noticed that they were using black caulk to glue my car clock back on. WTF. So, I called my daddy and he was piiiiised. I went out there, handed the phone to them and he gave them a stern talking. I had them follow me to the dealership and turns out, to fix it, it's 400 freakin dollars. yuuup. Why ME. They tried shmeagaling out of paying for it, but NOPE! I stayed strong. I was like heck no! So they payed for it. But then I thought to myself, why don't I try fixing it myself? Um hi, i'm a freakin mechanic. FIXED BABY. I'm a genius.

My hands were filthy with oil and I have never felt so bad a.
Need your car fixed? Don't go to me cause this was a once in a lifetime achievement. 
I gotta go scrub my skin off now. 

Monday, March 26, 2012

Last Full Week of Winter Semester

Today is a Monday.. Obviously..
Here are a few things that have crossed my mind already by 11:30 AM

1. Girls: A tip: Having your boobs hang half way out really isn't as attractive as you think it is. To make matters worse, you're a size A. Put them away doll, all I can see is your ribs..

2. The best thing ever is when you can wear a light jacket outside because its warm and sunny... Only to come out of class when it dropped 10 degrees and is now raining.

3. Surprisingly, Gingers have more fun than Brunettes.

4. I might not live in Pleasant Grove anymore, but it still smells like weed all the time.

5. Starving yourself only makes you fatter.

6. Your roommate gives the best back massages ever!... Until you find out she's a lesbian.

7. Marriage is only something other people do.

8. Justin Bieber: I will allow you to be my boyfriend.. I guess..

9. I will do ANYTHING for Ice Cream. Or Cocoa Bean Cupcakes. And I mean ANYTHING. Girl scout cookies also apply. ESPECIALLY if they are in Ice Cream.

10. Avocados should be included in every meal.

11.  Without country music, life would basically be pointless. I guess Techno is equally as entertaining. I could live with that.

12. Why would you sit around and talk about it when you could actually go DO it??

13. I love Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson. They belong together.

14. Vegas sounds so good right now. Let's all drop out, eat sushi, Starbucks and party at the strip clubs.  Almost 21.. Who needs fake IDs?


Monday, March 19, 2012


Hands down, the weirdest most morbid video I have ever seen. 

Like....what just happened?


So when I was leaving Michael's house tonight, I walked outside and it was blizzarding. I did a couple doughnuts in the middle of state street and almost got hit by another car. Super fun. Here's a picture in what I was driving in.

Be careful on the roads!!

Love, Amy

Sunday, March 18, 2012

College is for having fun, not learning

I don't have anything better to do on a Sunday afternoon.
Let's be honest, how the hell do I find these stupid videos all the time?
Pure entertainment right here:
Ever having issues?
This should help:
Wear it proudly.
Modest is hottest.
Now you can either go learn something in class or come up with something ridiculous to do.
Ally you are gorgeous,
And I hope that you guys are havin a bangin time in moab
Classic. love you.
 Look at us, we get plenty of action.
Yay boobies!

Love Lauren

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

lazy lazy lazy

Guys, life is hard.
So let's sit around and complain about it.
Life is just too difficult.
Love Lauren

sorry for party rockin'

Don't you love school?
Don't you love staying up late and doing pointless assignments?
We sure do, as you can tell by the look on our faces.

It is 1:30, and we effing LOVE school.

Sunday, February 26, 2012


I wish that I got this excited about McDonalds toys.


Creepy much?

If this doesn't explain my everyday life,
I don't know what else does.
I wanna be that dark blue area.
Brave up girl.
You won't understand until you go up to a place crawling with weirdos.
And then when you find three beautiful boys, you just can't let them go.
Any advice on how to talk to guys you don't know?
I would very much appreciate it.
Love your byui girl :)

Saturday, February 25, 2012

If life was a fairy tale..

Don't you ever have those days where you wish everything was perfectly... perfect?? 
You wake up in the morning and your hair is magically curled and perfectly quaffed without even having to shower? 
You would walk around all day shopping while all the boys wanted your milkshake to come to their yard? 
And at night you and your chiseled husband (below) would cuddle up by the fire, read books together and then eat to your hearts' desire without gaining a single ounce of fat? 
Then you would produce many Brad Pitt and Justin Beiber-like babies without any pain what-so-ever?
But let's be honest,
that sounds sooo nice, 
but it would just be too perfect.
Sometimes I enjoy waking up in the morning and burning my finger on the curling iron.
I like not having thousands of stalkers.
And having a husband with imperfections is probably going to be the best but hardest thing ever.
Although I do have my wishes about certain boys, I am grateful to be able to party all night and not worry about cooking for my 12 children.
But when the time comes, it will come.
And life will not be perfect.
But it sure as hell will be the closest thing that will come to perfect in this lifetime.
All good things are worth waiting for. And they will come.
Lauren :)
p.s. i'm really loving blogging

Friday, February 24, 2012

New Hurrr

So, yes, I am now a blondie baby.
I had a few issues with it at first because uhhhh I went from black to almost blonde (which I was NOT expecting)
It ended up being a little too red for me so I bought bleach at Sally's after and put me some more blonde in. To be honest I can't get enough of the blonde and I am probably going to go get more of it put in. It is still a little red (I think) which you can't really see in the picture. 
But I really hope that I will just get more used to it.
Here's the black hair. Even that was drastic.
Still in shock.
This is the new Lauren.

Who's down for me to just make it mostly blonde?? 
I think i'm going to.
I'm just gonna wait till April.
Once you go blonde you never go back.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


Viewer Discretion Advised. It says maybe 2-3 words that may be claimed as inappropriate, but i'm justifying it because it is funny. Amy I think that you will really enjoy this.
I hate Facebook:

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


Okay so there was this one day when I visited back home and then I told you about this little youtube video. AND I never got to show it to you.
So here it is...
Please enjoy. **This is a REAL commercial back in California.
Watch it twice. Probably the best commerical you will ever get the chance to witness.!!!!! :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Yes, I am in love.

Love is for people with friends.
Well, I guess I have friends. (mostly guys up here THANK GOODNESS!!!)
But sometimes they hack my facebook and do wonderful things to embarrass me.
This picture will make sense if you watched this video: If not, please do.
Can you guess who that is??? (AMY...)
He also gave me that valentine.
We broke up today..
:( sad day.
But don't worry: I have a few stalkers. We hang out.
And life is great.
Happy LOVE week!!!

Oh and P.s. I think that my roommate Mary is gonna come eat sushi with us on Saturday.
You will love her she's wonderful

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


 Today is the day of love.
Three things today:
1. I would very much like to know who Mike Call is!! (Lauren...)
2. I love Red Lobster (Thanks ally:))
3. Go see the vow. (It is cheesy and chalk full of Tatum booty)

I hope I make your mouth water with these photos.