Sometimes, I like to be happy :)

Dear genitals,

Thanks for not bleeding every month. You're the best.

Sincerely, a man

Dear Women,

Those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat.

Sincerely, Men

Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear Asians,

At least wear name tags or something.

Sincerely, The rest of the world

Dear Poop,

I haven't eaten corn in days...

Sincerely, WTF?!?!

Dear boys,

When you're not in the building, we use the mens room because urinals fascinate us.

Sincerely, girls.

Dear Women,

Please stop thinking you have to be a size 0 to be beautiful. Those magazines got it all wrong, no one ever told them that beauty is also on the inside. Be confident and happy with yourself. Some guy out there is going to fall in love with everything about you.

Sincerely, a real man

Dear Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,

Please send me my letter already. I'm tired of the Muggle world.

Sincerely, the kid who still believes in magic

Dear Secular World and Every Guy I've Been On A Date With,

Please stop being so appalled that I'm 24 and have chosen to remain a virgin until marriage. It's not a disease, and I'm fully aware of what I'm "missing out" on.

Sincerely, Clean Vagina

Dear girls,

Can you have those "sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on" days more often? It makes you look way more beautiful than having on all that crap you call makeup.

Sincerely, I like the REAL you.

Dear world,

Wanna hear a bird joke? No?

Sincerely, well this is hawkward...

Dear socially awkward person at the grocery store,

I'm here for you.

Sincerely, Self-Checkout lane.

Dear Food Network,

Please stop mocking my hunger, and making delicious looking foods that I can't create.

Sincerely, A Starving College Student

Dear "Beliebers",

Sending death threats to Selena Gomez? Really? What are you going to do, hit her with your Hannah Montana pencil case?

Sincerely, you never had a chance.

Dear Armpits,

Awww come on, it's not even hot outside today!

Sincerely, Soaked shirt

Dear girl with her thong hanging out,

I thought the point was so people didn't know you were wearing underwear?

Sincerely, person with class.